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Home Events - A People of Prayer and Intercession EXAMINING OUR HEARTS: MALICE, HURT, DISTANCE, OR BROKEN TRUST?
  • Prayerful Reflection in Nature
  • A People of Prayer and Intercession
Prayerful Reflection in Nature

EXAMINING OUR HEARTS: MALICE, HURT, DISTANCE, OR BROKEN TRUST?

EXAMINING OUR HEARTS: MALICE, HURT, DISTANCE, OR BROKEN TRUST?
As we prepare to enter our upcoming fast commencing Sunday 7th June 2026, entitled “Wrestling in  Prayer”and continue serving together in prayer and ministry, I would like us all to take a moment to reflect honestly before the Lord.
Sometimes within church communities, words can be used interchangeably when they actually mean very different things. We may hear statements such as, “They are not talking to one another,” “There is hurt,” “There is malice,” or “There is division.”
But are these things always the same?
Perhaps we need to carefully separate malice, hurt, distance, and broken trust, because each one carries a different meaning.
•A person can love you but not trust you.
•A person can forgive you but not be as close to you as before.
•A person can speak to you respectfully but no longer share personal matters.
•A person can attend church with you, pray with you, worship with you, and yet not maintain the same friendship they once had.
•A person may simply need time to heal without being in malice.
•And perhaps one of the most important things for us to remember is this:
Not every change in a relationship is evidence of unforgiveness.
So let us ask ourselves an honest question:
What do we actually mean when we say that someone is “not talking” to someone else?
Does it mean:
•They refuse to greet one another?
•They avoid being in the same room?
•They refuse to pray together?
•They speak negatively about one another?
•They gossip about one another?
•They refuse reconciliation?
Or does it simply mean:
•They are no longer close friends?
•They no longer share personal conversations?
•Trust has changed?
•Boundaries have been established while healing takes place?
These are very different situations.
Before we speak about another person’s relationship, before we repeat something we have heard, and before assumptions begin to spread from one person to another, we must be careful to understand what we are actually saying.
The Bible speaks strongly against bitterness, hatred, division, gossip, backbiting, and unforgiveness.
But what does the Bible require of us?
Jesus said:
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:35)
Paul also wrote:
“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)
Notice Paul’s words carefully:
“If it be possible.”
We are responsible for our own hearts, our own attitudes, and our own conduct before God.
The biblical standard is clear:
•No bitterness.
•No malice.
•No gossip.
•No backbiting.
•No division.
•No hatred.
At the same time, friendship and trust may need rebuilding over time.
•Forgiveness is commanded.
•Trust is rebuilt over time.
•Reconciliation requires both parties.
•Restoration often depends upon repentance, healing, grace, humility, and wisdom.
Even the Apostle Paul experienced relationships that changed because of conflict and disagreement, yet he remained committed to the unity and advancement of the body of Christ.
Therefore, perhaps our focus should not be on who is friends with whom, or who is no longer as close as they once were.
Perhaps the greater question is:
•Is there bitterness in my heart?
•Is there unforgiveness in my heart?
•Have I spoken negatively about a brother or sister?
•Have I contributed to division?
•Am I walking in love?
•Am I honouring Christ in my conduct toward others?
As we prepare for this fast and continue in prayer together, let us first examine ourselves before the Lord.
And let us finish by asking this question:
Can we honestly say that our hearts are clean before God concerning one another?
If not, let us bring it before the Lord and allow Him to heal what only He can heal.
May God search our hearts, purify our motives, strengthen our relationships, and help us walk in love, truth, grace, and unity for His glory.
Blessings
Pastor Nadia
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